• 情感故事STORY

    父親的必修課:如何做一名稱職的“討喜爸爸”

    更新時間:2019-05-16 17:37 來源:未知 作者:小編 閱讀量:
    在現在這個“拼爹”的社會,人人都把擁有一個優秀的父親,當作向別人炫耀的資本。的確,身為一名孩子的父親,最大的本事莫過于能給孩子創造好的生活。然而不管對于普通家庭,或是家境富裕的家庭而言,給孩子鋪陳一條捷徑,真的就算盡了父親的責任嗎?
     
    在每個家庭中,父親大都是家里的頂梁柱,偏向于事業,賺錢養家,而母親則會偏向于家庭,擔任帶孩子的職責。然而對孩子來說,生活的無憂自然是很大的幸福,可一個奔忙于事業的父親,給不了自己溫暖的陪伴,對孩子來說,卻是最大的不幸福。因為父愛和母愛,對孩子而言同樣珍貴,是不可缺失,也是無可替代的。而父愛的重要性,就主要體現在以下五個方面

    1、有利于孩子的性別認知
    對于孩子而言,區分男性和女性的標準就在于爸爸和媽媽的區別。對于缺乏爸爸陪伴的孩子,特別是女孩子,往往對于性別認知會比較遲緩,而經常有父母共同陪伴的孩子可以更好地分辨男女人性征區別,這也對日后的性教育先打下良好的基礎。

    2、有利于孩子的身體健康
    有爸爸陪伴的孩子往往會更加熱愛運動,做事的積極性也比較強,而這些對于提高孩子的免疫力,使孩子維持身體健康很有幫助。

    3、有利于孩子的心理健康
    在父母的呵護下長大的孩子情緒比較穩定,不容易做出些過失行為或者反社會叛逆行為,做事情的自我控制能力比較強,所以有利于孩子的心理健康。

    4、有利于孩子的情商發展
    通常爸爸處理事情的態度比較冷靜和勇敢,所以,爸爸陪伴孩子長大可以使得孩子也學到這些我品質,這對提高孩子的情商發展也有幫助。

    5、有利于孩子的良好個性
    孩子經常和爸爸接觸會獲得安全感,可以使孩子也養成良好的個性,孩子會更加勇敢、自信、獨立。
     
    然而,據一項調查顯示,有一半以上的家庭,都存在子女教育父親“缺位”的情況,而母親則是子女教育的絕對主角。

    在調查中,有60.7%的人認為“現在的孩子缺失父教”,僅有13%認為“父教并不缺失”。另外,在回答“在你的成長過程中,誰承擔了更多的教育責任?”時,46.9%選擇了母親,28.7%表示“父母均擔”,僅有24.4%表示是父親。從這些數據中我們看到,父教的缺失已經成為了多數家庭的普遍現象。許多父親在孩子的情感陪伴、問題解決方面,都沒能盡到應盡的責任。

    盡管現在隨著《爸爸去哪兒》等親子類節目的播放,越來越多的年輕爸爸認識到了自己在家庭教育的重要性,但大多數的爸爸仍然不知道如何教導孩子,和孩子形成“共同語言”。所以作為一名父親,“父教”則是親子教育中,務必需要掌握的必修課。那么在對孩子的教育方面,怎么做才能成為一個稱職的討喜爸爸呢?

    妙招一:扮演好性別角色,幫助孩子社會化
    父親的角色之所以重要,首先在于他是一個異于母親的男性存在,對于孩子的性別社會化有著不可替代的作用。對于男孩子來說,父親的角色示范可以讓他們找到角色認同;對于女孩子來說,她們對異性的認識,則是從父親開始的,如果成長過程中跟父親沒有良好的互動,那么長大后跟異性的關系就可能出現偏差。所以,作為爸爸,做好兒子的性別角色示范,得體地跟女兒互動,本身就是一種參與。

    妙招二:讓孩子體驗來自男性的力量
    在孩子眼里,母親一般是溫存的、細膩的、安穩的,而父親的生理結構和角色承擔則使他成為力量的象征,稱職的父親會把這種力量傳遞給孩子,讓孩子體驗到不一樣的愛。比如,抱孩子的時候,把孩子拋起再接住,或者托著孩子開幾圈“飛機”,對孩子來說,都是非常刺激的經歷。孩子不管是嚇得哇哇叫或樂得嘎嘎笑,所體驗到的都將是來自男性的力量。這是他們從母親那里體驗不到的。

    妙招三:緩解母子之間的緊張情緒
    跟圍著孩子轉的媽媽相比,忙碌的爸爸也有其優勢,那就是他不必隨時面對帶給自己挑戰的孩子,從而有更多的時間來思考,與孩子之間的“距離美”也讓他們的心態更平和。所以,當爸爸的不妨借機扮演好家庭教育的“平衡器”的角色:當妻子因為孩子的鬧騰心煩意亂、母子相持不下的時候,出來打個圓場,或者索性把孩子接過去,給妻子一個喘息的時間,也給孩子一個調整狀態的機會。

    妙招四:協同妻子創設富有教育性的家庭氛圍
    孩子的成長不僅需要直接的教養活動,還需要隱性的教育環境,后者甚至更為重要,因為孩子是極易接受感染的“小精靈”,而爸爸作為家庭成員之一,對于教育氛圍的創設,也有著不可推卸的責任。所以,如果爸爸能夠與媽媽協同營造富有教育性的家庭環境,也是兌現育兒責任的行為之一。
     
    結語
     

    父愛如山般高大,母愛如水般溫柔,做一名優秀的父親,就要學會如何在孩子心中樹立這個如山般高大的形象,而不是做一個”甩手掌柜“,推諉身為父親的職責。

    父愛是一輩子都學不完的書,孩子會在你的生命中,不斷地向你討教,而做父親的就要學會時刻警醒自己,擔任起自己的職責,備好教育孩子的功課。
     
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